Ask The Porch
Every front porch has been home to great conversations. Some are lighthearted, some thoughtful, and some have been debated for generations. In this series, we answer questions from readers about family traditions, etiquette, hospitality, home, food, friendships, and everyday life. We will keep this light and fun!
Have a question you’ve always wondered about? Pull up a chair and ask the porch.
ASK THE PORCH
Are Thank You Notes Still A Must?
Dear Front Porch Life,
I recently had a debate with my teenage daughter about thank-you notes. She says a text message is enough these days. I still believe there’s something special about taking the time to write one by hand. Has the world simply changed, or are handwritten thank-you notes still something we should be teaching the next generation?
Lindsay in Indiana
Around The Porch:
If you ask us, the answer is an overwhelming.. YES. We absolutely think Thank You notes are important and should still be sent. In the fast paced world we live in now, many people feel a quick text, will suffice, but a thank you note really goes deeper and shows much more gratitude. Are their instances when a text is all you need.. of course, but for bigger occasions or an unexpected act of sincere kindness a thank you not can really show how much you care.
I come from an era that my Grandmother would have been appalled if someone didn’t send a Thank You note and we have tried hard to carry on that tradition. Do we fail sometimes, yes and that is life.. no one is perfect. We do feel pretty strongly about big life events, such as weddings, that a Thank You note should be sent.. and we are going to be 100% honest.. if you think people don’t remember if you sent one or not.. you are probably wrong. We absolutely remember.. call it petty, call it silly, but those things stick with you. You can ask me “did so and so send a thank you note” and I can recall it from 20 years ago “she did not“.. I’m pretty sure that is the Southern way.. we don’t forget.. correct me if I am wrong… haha
Now.. as we had this conversation around the porch, we expanded this a little further and debated if you give the gift of money (cash or a check) for an event, say graduation, milestone birthday or wedding, should a Thank You note be sent? It seemed that a few of us had experienced not receiving a note when they gave the gift of money and we all agreed again that one should have been sent. Not sure if that is standard etiquette in today’s world, but I think a nice note is still appreciated.
This topic was funny enough to become the entire plot of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond! I still laugh every time I see it! Contrary to what many of us grew up hearing, couples don’t actually have a year to send wedding thank-you notes. Modern etiquette recommends sending a handwritten note within three months of receiving the gift and sooner is even better. Now.. I always still say “they have a year” but we all know.. if it’s been months.. it’s not coming!
What’s Your Take?
Now. what are you thoughts? Are you still sending Thank You Notes? Are you like us and remember who didn’t send one?! We’d love to hear your thoughts below. Your response may even appear in an upcoming issue of Front Porch Life. Have you own question for us email us today!
